Being an introvert is like being a turtle. I am most comfortable in my shell. And if it were up to me, I would spend my whole life with my head in my shell, occasionally peeking one eye out to see what was going on in the outside world. Because the real world is in my shell. My creations are my friends and family. They are always with me. I need nothing else.
As a turtle, I do not like social gatherings. I dread mingling. I despise small talk. I've always hated birthday parties (whether or not alcohol was involved) and going out with big groups of friends (and yes, I consider 3 or more people to be a big group). As someone who works as a cashier in a cafe, I deal with people every weekday for 8-plus hours a day (and yes, in hindsight, I realize this was not a great life choice on my part). By the time Friday rolls around, I am a cranky mess who never wants to see another person again as long as I live. So I hide in my shell (read: studio apartment) all weekend and recharge. Because we turtles get our power from being alone. Whereas rabbits (read: extroverts) get their power from being around other rabbits.
This does relate to writing, I swear!
For turtles, the writing part is easy. Me + Laptop. No other turtles, no rabbits. Just me and Adam (yes, I named my laptop Adam). But as a writer who wants to be published, I have to step out of my shell and pretend to be a rabbit sometimes. I have to be energetic and passionate about my work--my babies that I've birthed from my imagination like the Goddess Athena and nursed with tender care for many hours, days, even years--in a public setting. (Warning: this is about to take a really weird turn, but if you stick with me, I promise it will be worth it...I hope.) I have to actually pimp out my babies, make them look sexy to strangers. And then if my one of my babies is actually chosen for publication, sometimes there is an opportunity to read my baby out loud. In public. So even though Turtle me is screaming "NOOO!" from inside my shell, Rabbit me says "I'd love to read in public." Because secretly I am a masochist. So I let Rabbit me take over for a little bit. Rabbit me doesn't show that I'm terrified to stand in front of a room filled with strangers praying that they'll laugh at the moments that are intended to be funny and not the moments when I trip over my own tongue in my haste to be done. And before I know it, the reading is over and I am proud of myself for passing as a rabbit, even for a short time. And I reward myself by going back into my shell to recharge. Until I feel it's time to put on the rabbit ears again and pretend to be extroverted.
By the way, Turtle me is only okay with this post because no one will ever read it.
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